I’ve worked with a client on four picture books over the past few years. She loves the final product and keeps coming back, but she’s still making the same mistakes regarding her feedback on the drafts.
With every new section or draft I send her, she sends them back with notes and edits.
These notes and edits are frustrating because when I work with a client, whether ghosting or rewriting, I answer any questions they have. I also explain why changes she may want won’t work.
I do this through the entire process of writing the story. So, the client is getting writing lessons along with their story.
Some of the most common writing mistakes:
1. You shouldn’t tell the reader; you should show her.
This is a bare-bottom basic. Don’t tell the reader that Lisa is mean and sneaky; show the reader through dialogue and action.
Example: When Brianna turned her back, Lisa grabbed Brianna's paper from the desk. Ha, now she'll be in trouble for not having the assignment.
2. It’s essential to limit adjectives and adverbs.
Instead of: Peter angrily put the book down.
Use: Peter slammed the book on the table.
You get the idea. You can always rephrase a sentence to make it less passive and more action-packed.
3. There must be conflict in a story, even stories for children.
According to Masterclass, “a conflict is a literary device characterized by a struggle between two opposing forces. Conflict provides crucial tension in any story and is used to drive the narrative forward.” (1)
The conflict doesn’t have to be life or death but it must be significant to the main character.
In children’s writing, it could be moving and leaving friends. It could be losing a pet and desperately searching to find it. It might be wanting to be on the baseball team but not being good enough.
The conflict, the goal the main character has to reach, is what engages the reader and makes her turn the pages.
4. The illustrations will show what’s not written in picture books.
Many new writers struggle to grasp this aspect of picture book writing.
You don’t have to say (tell), Alisha wore eyeglasses and had curly black hair. If you’re writing a picture book, the illustrations will show it.
You can use dialogue and narrative to show description If it’s a middle-grade or young-adult story.
Below is an example:
Alisha pulled a tissue from her backpack and cleaned her glasses. “Ah, that’s better.”
“Owww,” yelled Alisha as she pulled the comb through her curly black hair.
5. You shouldn’t hit the reader over the head with the message – the takeaway.
I get this one a lot from clients. They want to make sure the young reader gets what they’re trying to tell them with the story.
Kids are always lectured to; it’s important not to preach to them in picture books.
It usually takes a lot of convincing to get the client to understand the need for a subtle takeaway.
6. There comes the point when the story is done.
Thankfully, most of my clients are satisfied with my endings.
Some, though, just can’t stop picking away at a good story. Mind you, not making it better, but just having a need to pick at it.
Then, there are other clients who will make edits, which, if they’re story acceptable, I’ll incorporate into the story, and then they’ll turn around and want them out. Or, forget they wanted those changes.
I don't know how many explanations are needed or how long it takes most authors to get the basics of writing. I’m beginning to believe that some people just can’t comprehend it or they don’t want to.
Either way, it makes it challenging to write for these people or takes some of the joy out of the project.
I’m a working children’s ghostwriter, rewriter, editor, and coach. I can help turn your story into a book you’ll be proud to be the author of, one that’s publishable and marketable.
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